


pick up lines and novelty tees (say you'll be his)

by FateChica



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), F/M, Friendship, Meet-Cute, this is a mileven fic by way of an el & dustin friendship fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 09:26:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17937185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FateChica/pseuds/FateChica
Summary: Sometimes a pick up line is just a pick up line.Andsometimesit leads to true love.(Even if you're not the one she ends up with.)





	pick up lines and novelty tees (say you'll be his)

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, so, I know I said I was taking a break for a bit...but clearly, I'm a liar.
> 
> You can thank [this tumblr post](http://fatechica.tumblr.com/post/182904935931/did-it-hurt-when-you-fell-from-the-vending) for this weird one-shot. I _could not stop_ imaging the first scene of this fic and the rest of this kinda sprung from that. This doesn't really go anywhere, so I apologize. But it was cute and fun to write and I love writing from Dustin's POV.
> 
> Hopefully you guys agree, so let me know what you think!

“I’ll give you 10 bucks if you can pull this off.”

“Alright, you’re on. And just to make it fair, _you_ name the girl.”

A beat of silence, a moment of consideration. “Hmm, how about her, the brunette sitting at the bar? The one in the black dress.”

He follows the line of his friend’s finger and sees her, sitting alone as she looks at something on her phone, one hand delicately cradling the martini glass with what looks like a Manhattan in it. “Prepare to eat crow, boys.”

“Yeah right, she’s _way_ too pretty to fall for this.”

“Ha, we’ll see.”

He slides off the bar stool he’s perched on and leaves the high-top table behind as he makes his way over to the bar – over to _her._

He pushes his way through the crowd, using every advantage he has to get people to move out of his way, before he’s standing in front of her. He rests his arm on the bar, leaning with what he hopes is casual charm, and puts on his best smile.

Yes, he might be a nerd – he might be way too in to Dungeon and Dragons and science and video games to ever be cool – but he’s also been known to be clever and nice and, as some might even say, _charming._

He can do this. He can _totally_ do this.

“Hey there,” he says and waits for her to look up.

She does and he suddenly feels a little star-struck at being the center of her attention, even though he was the one who asked for it. “Yes?” she asks with a voice that is clear as a bell, smooth and a little breathy all at once.

For a moment, he can’t see past anything but her beauty. And she’s objectively beautiful – soft, smooth skin; long lashes framing wide doe eyes that are both sultry and innocent; lush honey brown hair that falls far past her shoulders in tousled waves; pouty lips that are pulled up into a polite smile.

It takes him a moment to regain his senses – pretty girls have _always_ made him go a little cross-eyed – but he manages to recover and smiles even wider. “Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine?”

Her brows knit in confusion and her lips pull down into a frown. “Excuse me?”

“Because you’re a _snack._ ”

There’s a weighty pause – the air between them filled with the sounds of the bar around them, all low, swanky music juxtaposing the sound of patrons trying to talk over each other. And then, something happens that completely surprises him.

She lets out a snort before just _dissolving_ into giggles. She sets both her drink and her phone down as one hand comes up to clap delicately over her mouth, the other clutching the bar so she doesn’t overbalance in her mirth. “Oh my god,” she gasps out between laughs. “That is the _worst_ pick up line I’ve ever heard.”

“Yeah, but it made you laugh, didn’t it?” he asks, eyebrows waggling.

“True, it did,” she says before she eyes him. “You weren’t _seriously_ trying to pick me up with that line, were you?”

He smiles and shakes his head. “Nah, just trying to win a bet with some friends.”

Her head cocks to one side. “What’s the bet?”

“That I couldn’t get your phone number with that line.” He pauses, smile turning into a grin. “Wanna help me make my friend eat his words?”

She grins as well, infected by his conspiratorial mood. “Ooh, sounds like fun.” She holds out her hand, then, an offer to him to shake. “I’m El, by the way.”

He takes her hand, small and slim compared to his own, and shakes it. “Dustin, nice to meet you.”

“Where are your friends?” El asks, eyes twinkling in the low light around them.

Dustin points behind him to the table he just left behind. “See that table with the two guys who look like they don’t belong? Those’re my friends, Will and Lucas. Lucas, the one in the blue sweater, is the one who bet me about that pick-up line.”

“Ooh, I see them!” El exclaims, her expression somehow getting even brighter. “So, what do you need me to do?” she asks as she reaches for her phone.

At this, Dustin thinks. He actually hadn’t thought about what would happen if he got this far, even though he was pretty sure he would. “Hmm, how about you text me? I’m going to need to prove that I got a real number, after all, or else Lucas won’t give me the win.”

“Oh, he’s one of _those,_ is he?” El teases. Her face literally lights up as she unlocks her phone, lit from below by the light of her screen. “Alright, what’s your number?”

Dustin gives El his number and watches as her fingers tap rapidly across her screen. A moment later, his phone buzzes in his pocket and Dustin fishes it out see the text message sent from a number he doesn’t know. _Hi Dustin, this is El. It was so nice to meet you!_ the message reads and Dustin can’t help the face-splitting smile that crosses his face. “Excellent!” he says, voice pitching a bit higher with his enthusiasm, and he lifts gaze to El. “Thanks so much for this. Lucas is gonna _flip._ ”

El laughs, winking at him. “Well, happy to help,” she says, grabbing her glass and lifting it to him in a toasting salute.

Dustin laughs as well and pushes off from the bar. “Well, time to go claim my winnings. Have a good night, El.”

El smiles and the sight is as beautiful as it is blinding. “You too, Dustin. It was nice meeting you.”

And, with that, Dustin turns around and heads back to his table, El all but forgotten in his eagerness to rub this in Lucas’ face. “Lucas, prepare to give me my $10…!”

 

* * *

  
“Well, if it isn’t Snack Boy!”

The voice is a barely familiar one and it takes Dustin a moment to realize that those words are directed at _him_. He looks up from the scribbled equations he’s trying to work through and immediately spots the source of the voice that’s interrupted his work in this coffee shop on a random Sunday afternoon.

Dustin smiles. It’s the woman from the bar, the one he used that (admittedly) _horrible_ pick-up line on a couple of weeks ago. Then, she was wearing a little black dress like she was waiting for someone to notice her. Now, she’s much more dressed down, wearing jeans and a thin, loose-knit sweater, hair up in a messy bun atop her head, holding a book in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. But she’s still beautiful…

…and _still_ not his type.

“Hi!” Dustin says, leaning back in his chair. “Um…El, right?”

“Yeah, that’s right,” El says, giggling. “And you’re Dustin, ye of the horrible pick-up lines.”

“That would be me. Fancy running into you, here.”

El shrugs and clutches her book closer to her chest with one hand while she takes a sip from her disposable coffee cup. “I’m exploring the neighborhood, getting the lay of the land, so to speak.”

“You new to the neighborhood?” Dustin asks. He blinks and looks down at the table, covered in papers and books. “Oh, here, let me move some things. You wanna sit?”

“Um, sure, if you don’t mind. Thank you,” El says as she sits, putting her book down in the space Dustin just cleared.

“No, don’t mind at all. I have a friend showing up eventually, but Mike won’t be here for at least another half an hour, so you’re free to set up shop until he gets here.”

“Well, I promise I’ll get out of your hair before then,” El says. “But, for the moment, I’ll take refuge here at your table.”

Dustin laughs. “Well, never let it be said I can’t offer a lady refuge when she requires it.”

“Hmm, such a gentleman. Someone’s mother raised him right.”

Dustin beams as he thinks about his mom – who he should _totally_ call sometime soon. “Damn straight, she did.” He looks down at the book El set down on the table and a small thrill runs through him when he recognizes it. “Oh, you’re reading ‘Hyperion’! You like science fiction?”

El grins, lighting up like someone lit a flame inside of her. “I _love_ science fiction. ‘Hyperion’ is one of my favorite books – I read every so often as kind of a comforting thing to do. It’s nice because I know it so well that I can read it in bits and pieces when I need to, which is good when I don’t have much time to get some reading in. Like today. I only intended to spend about 20 minutes here on a break from exploring, which is more than enough time to get in a chapter or two. But I love how it changes styles and points of view constantly throughout the book. It’s almost like a bunch of books in one, you know?” El pauses, an embarrassed flush rising to her cheeks as she realizes the ramble she just blurted out. “Wow, sorry for word vomiting all over you, there. Have you read it?”

Dustin shakes his head. “Nah, I’m more of a fantasy fiction kind of guy – like, Game of Thrones or the Wheel of Time. But my friend Mike _loves_ that book.”

“Well, your friend Mike has good taste, then,” El says, winking as she grins over at him.

Dustin decides to take affront to this and has no shame in showing it. “Are you saying I don’t have good taste?”

El giggles and quirks an eyebrow. “Well, if the shoe fits….”

The next 20 minutes pass in a very pleasant blur. El, as Dustin quickly comes to find, is so much fun to talk to – she’s a great listener and she has fun and interesting things to say. He discovers that she recently moved to Chicago after getting her doctorate in clinical psychology from Cornell so she can do family counseling, she’s originally from Indianapolis, and she’s almost as big of a nerd as he or the rest of the Party is.

In turn, Dustin tells her about growing up a little less than an hour away from where she grew up, that he and his friends moved to Chicago for college and never looked back, and that he’s wrapping up his own Ph.D. in Electrical Engineering with Mike as his research partner while he teaches on the side (well, _both_ of them teach, but Dustin’s not about to go spilling all of Mike’s personal history when El’s never even met him).

“…ooh, I’ll have to check that out,” El says after Dustin recommends one of _his_ favorite books. “I’ve heard of it and I’ve seen it on the shelves, but I’ve never picked it up before.”

“Yeah, it’s great,” Dustin says. “I’d love to know what you think if you ever get around to reading it.”

El gives him a dry look. “Ok, was _that_ a pick-up line this time? And not a silly one? Because I hate to break it to you, you’re not exactly my type.”

Dustin snickers. “What, not tall, dark, and mysterious enough for you?”

El gasps, playfully. “Wow, how’d you know?”

“And, no, that wasn’t a pick-up line. I’m happily taken, I’ll have you know,” Dustin says, smiling as he thinks of his long-time girlfriend, Megan. He also thinks about the sizable chunk of money sitting in his savings account that is almost enough to buy that engagement ring he’s had his eye on for some time, but…that’s a conversation for a different day.

El arches an eyebrow at this news. “And yet, you still tried to get my number with that horrible line? Your girlfriend aware of what you were doing?”

“Hey, it was an intellectual exercise. It was in the name of science, El. Are you gonna denigrate science’s good name, _Dr. Hopper?_ ”

“Fair point,” El says, grinning. “Still, some women probably wouldn’t be ok with their guy using lines on another woman.”

Dustin tilts his head in concession. “True, but I told Megan about it when I got home and she just laughed at me. She also said she’s surprised you didn’t blow me off right then and there. It was a _really_ bad pick-up line.”

“It was so bad, it was hilarious, actually,” El says. “Which is why I laughed. Even though you’re not my type.”

Dustin looks at El as an idea hits him like a bolt of lightning. She’s smart, pretty, sweet, nerdy…and Dustin _knows_ for a fact there’s someone out there who’s attracted to smart, pretty brunettes. “ _Is_ tall, dark, and mysterious actually your type?”

There must be something Dustin’s tone giving him away, because El eyes him suspiciously. “I don’t think I’m going to answer that question because I’m suddenly afraid you’re going to try and set me up with someone. And I’m not exactly looking for a relationship, right now.”

“Seeing someone?” Dustin asks.

El shakes her head. “Nope, just trying to get settled and get my career off the ground a bit first before I start looking outside of the basics for survival.”

“Alright, that’s reasonable,” Dustin says, all but dropping the idea like a hot potato. _Sorry Mike. I tried…._ “But if you ever change your mind….”

El snorts. “I think I can find my own romance, thank you very much,” she says with a roll of her eyes. Her phone chimes, then, a reminder alert for something, and El sits up straight, almost alarmed. “Oh, shit, I need to get going. My landlord needs to check a couple of things in my new place and we’re meeting in about 15 minutes.” She rushes to get to her feet, scrambling a bit, and Dustin helps by passing her book to her once she’s off her chair. “Thanks,” she says as she takes it. “So, I take it I’ll see you around? Since you seem to live in the area, and all.”

Dustin smiles. “That and I’m pretty sure I still have your number in my phone. So don’t be surprised if I randomly text you someday.”

“I’ll make sure to actually save your number in my phone, then, so I’m not confused as to why some rando is texting me,” El says with a roll of her eyes. “Well, I’ll see you around, then.”

“Have a good one. Bye, El,” Dustin says with a wave.

El’s final parting is nothing more than a small wave, a cute little trill of her fingers, and then she’s gone, leaving no trace whatsoever of her presence.

And when Mike shows up, not a minute later, a rushed “Hey, sorry I’m late,” slipping out as he sits down, all 6’3” of tall, lanky nerd practically falling onto the chair El was just sitting on, Dustin almost has to laugh. Oh, if only Mike had showed up a couple of minutes earlier, Dustin figures his friend would have met the girl of his dreams.

_Eh, maybe next time._

 

* * *

  
The next time Dustin talks to El, it’s because he needs help and there’s no one else he can think of to turn to.

The wine aisle of his local grocery store is about the most intimidating place Dustin’s ever been, shelf after shelf of bottles with labels that might as well be printed in gibberish for as much as Dustin is able to understand them. But he’s been sent here on a mission, one where success is crucial for his survival.

See, Megan’s parents are coming over for dinner tonight…and Megan sent Dustin down to the store to pick up some wine. Dustin, the man who knows _everything_ about beer – from hop varietals to IBUs to which microbreweries make the best sours – and, for all intents and purposes, the man who finds wine to be nothing more than fancy, spoiled grape juice. Oh, sure, some of it’s _fantastic_ fancy, spoiled grape juice. But that doesn’t mean he knows anything about it.

Palms sweating as panic starts to set in, Dustin reaches for his phone in his pocket to call the one person he can think of to help.

He calls Mike.

Of his friends, Max and Mike are the two wine drinkers, Max because she’s from California and Mike because Nancy got him into it. Will’s really in to fruity cocktails and ciders and Lucas is all about straight spirits. And Max will never let him hear the end of it if he calls her in a panic. So, Mike it is.

Only, Mike doesn’t pick up.

_Can’t talk rn. A student’s having an academic meltdown in my office. Call you in 15?_ is the text message Mike sends seconds later.

But Dustin doesn’t _have_ 15 minutes. He needs to be out of the store by then, not still trying to figure out what wine to grab that will make Megan _not_ bite his head off.

There’s a frantic moment as Dustin goes through his mental rolodex of friends and people and it hits him a second later.

_El._

It’s the Friday after Dustin ran into El at the coffee shop by his apartment, the one he learned is also by _her_ apartment. He felt like they’d been on their way to being friends, even though it was only the second time they talked.

Close enough to ask for help, though? Well, Dustin’s about to find out.

Before he can talk himself out of it, he’s dialing El’s number and praying to any deity that’s listening that she’ll pick up.

Which, luckily for him, she does. “Um…Dustin?”

“Oh, awesome _,_ my number’s in your phone. Yes, it’s me. Um, sorry to call you out of the blue like this – but, um, do you know wine?” The words spill out of him at great speed and Dustin finds his breath racing to keep up.

“Like, do I know of it?” El asks. She sounds confused, but she’s not questioning his sanity, so Dustin feels like he’s winning.

“Well, yes, but more specifically do you know how to pick out _good_ wine?”

“Why, what’s going on?” El asks, this time sounding less hesitant and more helpfully curious.

“Oh, um, my girlfriend’s parents are coming over for dinner and she asked me to pick up some wine for dinner and I said _yes_ like an idiot, when I know absolutely _nothing_ about wine and what’s good and what goes with what and-”

“Dustin, _stop,_ ” El says, interrupting him. “Breathe, _breathe._ Calm down. We’ll get through this, alright? What’s for dinner?”

Dustin gives her the rundown and El asks him a bunch of questions – _Do they like wine? What’s your price point? Will there be appetizers before dinner?_ – and, 10 minutes later, Dustin has two bottles hugged close to him with one arm while he holds his phone to his ear with the other hand. “Oh my god, El, you’re a lifesaver. Honestly, I owe you one.”

“Hey, I’m just glad my overzealous love for wine is coming in handy.”

“Maybe Megan and I can have you over for dinner, a show of thanks,” Dustin offers.

El giggles. “Just name the time and the place. But maybe I’ll bring the wine, eh?”

Dustin rolls his eyes. “Oh, ha, ha, very funny. Well, I should pay for these and get going. Once again, _thank you._ ”

“Not a problem, Dustin. Have a nice dinner!”

Feeling like the weight of the world has been lifted off his shoulders, Dustin goes to pay for the wine so he can head home.

He’s just walking out of the store when his phone rings and Dustin fishes his phone out of his pocket to answer, seeing Mike’s name flash on the screen. “Hey, man.”

“Hey, everything ok?” Mike asks, sounding a little harried and tired. “Sorry about that, by the way. Teacher duty called.”

“Eh, no worries. I needed an emergency recommendation for wine – Megan’s parents are coming over for dinner – but crisis averted, man. I managed to ask someone else.”

At this, there’s a pause and Dustin can just _see_ Mike’s eyebrow arching in confusion. “Who? Was it _Max_? I figured you’d rather drop dead than ask her for help.”

“And you’d figure right,” Dustin says as he approaches his car. “So I called a _different_ friend.”

“Um, what other friend do you have who you can ask for wine recommendations?” Mike asks. It’s a valid question – outside of the Party and Party-adjacents, they don’t really _have_ any other friends.

Still, Dustin’s not about to spill _all_ his secrets. It’s rare that he has any at all and he kind of likes it. “I have other friends, _Michael._ ”

“Uh huh, _sure,_ ” Mike says. “So, what did this ‘friend’ help you pick out?” There’s a tone of condescending doubt in Mike’s voice, so Dustin rattles off the two wines El helped him pick out. “Hmm, those sound…good. _Pretty_ good, actually,” Mike says. “So there really _is_ a friend, isn’t there?”

“What, you thought I just grabbed the coolest looking labels and went with that?”

“Well…yeah,” Mike says, sounding a little sheepish. “Hey, you can’t blame me. That sounds exactly like something you’d do.”

Dustin wants to push back on that one, but he knows he doesn’t have a leg to stand on. “Yeah, ok, that’s fair. But it was fine. My friend helped me pick out a couple of bottles and she _assured_ me they were-”

“Wait, ‘she’?”

“Yes, Michael,” Dustin says as he gets into his car. “You know, men and women _can_ be friends. This isn’t the 1950s anymore.”

“Does Megan know about this mystery female friend of yours?”

Dustin rolls his eyes. “Yes, Megan knows about El, thank you very much. I don’t like the insinuation that I’d see another woman behind the back of my girlfriend.” Dustin smirks. “Besides, El could have been _your_ friend, too, if you’d been on time to our meeting at the coffee shop on Sunday. She and I were hanging out, like, right before you got there. You’d like her – she’s nerdy, like us. Plus, she’s _really_ pretty,” Dustin says, voice trailing up into a sing-song teasing tone, like he’s trying to get a stubborn toddler to eat their vegetables.

“Yeah, whatever,” Mike says. “Shouldn’t you be going? I’m sure Megan is waiting for you to get back.”

The avoidance isn’t entire out of character for Mike – he’s never been comfortable with women or relationships, especially now that all the rest of his friends are in committed ones. Dustin knows it’s because Mike’s been burned before, almost to the point where he doesn’t believe he deserves to be loved like that. Dustin knows this isn’t true – Mike’s one of the best guys he’s ever known and ever _will_ know – but he also knows it’s not the time to argue it.

So, Dustin lets it go. “Yeah, she is,” he says. “Later, Mike.”

“Bye, Dustin. Good luck, tonight.”

 

* * *

  
Dinner goes fine and Megan is _thrilled_ with the wines that El helped Dustin pick out. So much so, that she agrees to pay El back for helping Dustin out in his time of need by having her over for dinner.

Which signals the start of Megan and El’s friendship, almost to the point where El and Megan become faster friends than El and Dustin do. They do happy hour at least a couple of times a week, Dustin occasionally joining them, and El often comes over for dinner after since she lives so close.

And after the emergency wine advice, Dustin finds himself texting El regularly, the two of them having what feels like a never-ending conversation about things they geek out about or find funny. And the _memes_ they pass back and forth – Dustin’s never met anyone more conversant in memes and gifs in his entire life and it cracks him up to no end.

It’s strange how quickly El becomes part of Dustin’s routine, but he doesn’t mind. She’s kind of like the sister he never had and he finds himself dragging his heels on introducing El to the rest of the Party because he almost doesn’t want to share her with the others – it’s kind of nice not having to share _everything_ with the rest of the Party. But Dustin knows he does, mostly because he knows El doesn’t have that many friends _and_ because the Party would love her….

…A fact that becomes oh so apparent about a month after El starts hanging out with Dustin and Megan regularly. It’s a Saturday and Dustin’s out with the Party, getting burgers at a centrally-located greasy spoon they love.

They’re debating the merits of the resurgence of isometric video games compared to the classics when Dustin’s phone buzzes with an incoming text message. He tunes out just a little as he reaches for his phone and laughs when he sees who’s texting him.

It’s El, who’s sent him pictures of two different t-shirts, each folded on a shelf at what looks like one of those pop-up stores in the mall, with the message, _help! i can’t decide!_

_where are you?_ Dustin asks.

_out shopping. i’m bored and decided that throwing away money was a good distraction. i can’t justify both, tho. HELP._

Dustin can see El’s dilemma. One is a t-shirt of a T-Rex holding a pair of grabber claws with the word “UNSTOPPABLE” emblazed across the top, and the other is a Doctor Who t-shirt with the words “Trust me: I’m the Doctor” written in the shape of the TARDIS.

_ooh, tough choice. both excellent choices. hold on, let me ask my colleagues._

“Guys, hey, help me out a sec,” Dustin says, interrupting the conversation and getting everyone’s attention. “If you were gonna choose a shirt, which one would you choose?” Holding out the phone, he shows them the two different shirts, swiping back and forth between the two pictures El sent him.

“Hmm, they’re both awesome,” Will says. “It would help if I knew _why_ I was choosing.”

“Yeah, one could be way more appropriate than the other given the circumstances,” Mike chimes in.

Dustin grins. “A friend’s asking me to help make a decision.”

At that, Lucas chuckles. “Is this the infamous El asking you?”

“So what if it is?” Dustin says, pouting a little. “I would help anyone make such an important decision. And you can’t deny that this is quite a difficult choice.”

“Hmm, true,” Lucas says. “I vote for the T-Rex shirt.”

“No way!” Mike says, scowling a bit. “The Doctor Who one is classic.”

“Yeah, I think I gotta go with the Doctor Who one,” Dustin says. “Also has a great additional meaning since El is a doctor.”

“Wait, she’s a doctor?” Lucas asks.

“Yeah, she’s a clinical psychologist,” Dustin says. He pauses, brow furrowing. “Didn’t I tell you that?”

Will smirks. “Nope. So she really _is_ smart, huh?”

“Uh, _yeah_ ,” Dustin says. “Like I would be friends with someone stupid.”

“Ok, so, yeah, the Doctor Who one, then,” Will says.

“Yeah, I agree,” Lucas says. “In light of the evidence, it would be a great pun, on top of being a great t-shirt.”

“Ok, it’s unanimous,” Dustin says, grinning. “I’ll let her know.” He goes back to type his response and chuckles when he sees a text message El must have sent while he was debating with the others. _wait, what colleagues?_

_we all agree that the doctor who shirt is the way to go,_ Dustin says. An idea hits him upside the head and he smiles even wider. “Hey, guys, say cheese!” he says as he angles the phone to take a selfie of the whole table. He notices on the screen that everyone leans in, but that Mike is the only one _not_ smiling. Instead, he’s almost grimacing, like taking his picture is the most torturous thing on the face of the planet.

_and these colleagues!_ Dustin says as he sends over the picture.

There’s a pause before El starts typing back and, when she does, Dustin can’t help the sense of satisfaction that spreads out from his stomach. _thank you to you and your colleagues!_

There’s another long pause before El sends one final message:

_and tell your cute, dark-haired friend he’d be even cuter if he smiled._ And the kicker? The winking face emoji she tacks on to the end of the message.

And, suddenly, Dustin has the _best_ idea.

 

* * *

  
Really, it’s _such_ a good idea and Dustin realizes he’s been kicking it around the back of his brain for weeks and just hasn’t realized it until this moment.

Because Mike and El? Are practically _perfect_ for each other. El is amazing – nice and funny and sweet and smart and just the most adorable person on the face of the planet. And Mike is one of the best people Dustin knows, who’s also been very unfortunate in matters of the heart. El would care for Mike and Mike would cherish her in return and no power on this earth can dissuade Dustin from thinking this.

Plus, El’s tiny and Mike’s a giant bean stalk and the image of them trying to kiss each other is way too hilarious for Dustin to _not_ want to make this a reality.

But Dustin knows he has to be careful about doing this. Because if Mike smells so much as a whiff of a setup, he’ll peace out faster than Dustin's mom on her way to rescue orphaned kittens.

And, because Dustin knows his plans tend more towards grandiose than subtle, he has no option _but_ to include Megan in on them.

“So, Mike and El, huh?” Megan asks as they lay in bed one night. Her head’s pillowed on his shoulder and his arm is wrapped around her to hold her close and it’s just about the most comfortable thing in the universe as they settle in to fall asleep.

“Yeah,” Dustin says. “You have to admit, they’d be a pretty good fit.”

“No, they would, but you know Mike, Dustin. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone more skittish when it comes to love in my entire life.”

Dustin snorts. “Well, wouldn’t you be if you’ve been burned like he has?”

Megan’s silent for a moment and Dustin can almost hear her thinking. “This is true,” she says. “Still, we can’t actually _set them up._ ”

At that, Dustin’s eyebrows raise like they’re trying to become one with his hairline. “Wait, ‘we’? You’re on board with this?”

“Of course I am,” Megan says, lifting her head just a little so she can prop her chin on her shoulder. Dustin tilts his head to look at her and, for just a moment, in enraptured with the way she looks in the dim light – blonde hair pulled back in a loose ponytail, skin gleaming from the faint light from outside, as if lit from within, a twinkle in her eye as she gets caught up in his excitement. “I want Mike to be happy and El is the sweetest person I’ve ever met. If there’s anyone who would never break his heart, it’s her. And you know, if he happened to fall for her, he’d treat her like a princess. That boy is just waiting for someone he can devote himself to.”

“My thoughts exactly,” Dustin says. “So what do you mean when you say we can’t ‘actually set them up’?”

“Well, I don’t think Mike or El would take too kindly to being set up – both of them can be stubborn, as you well know. But if we just so happen to do something where _both_ of them are invited, maybe ask them to come over early to help set up so they _have_ to talk to each other, well then….” Megan trails off, letting the end of her sentence hang out there suggestively.

“Exactly,” Dustin says. “Besides, it’s really about time I introduced El to the rest of the Party. She’d get along with everyone like a house on fire.”

“Hmm, she would,” Megan says as she readjusts against Dustin’s shoulder.

And this is how the Smash Brothers Tournament and Dinner is born. It _also_ gives Dustin the excuse he’s been looking for to finish compiling the components for the surround sound system he’s been gathering over the past handful of months – a strange combination of things he’s bought second hand to fix up and pieces he’s bought brand new.

Megan and Dustin decide that Dustin should invite Mike over early so he can help with the wiring and installation (honestly, it’s convenient that Mike _is_ the best person out of the former Hawkins High A/V club to help with this. Plus, he’s tall and will be able to help install things up high if needed). Meanwhile, Megan’s going to ask El to help her with the food and drink setup, mostly because El’s said a few times that she’s a mean baker and Megan’s been dying to absorb any of that skillset.

So, plans set, all Dustin can do is wait for the day to arrive. He manages to keep his plans to himself and Megan – which, somehow, isn’t as hard as he’d been envisioning. Since there really is _no plan_ besides ‘get Mike and El in the same room with minimal distractions’, Dustin can almost forget there’s something of an ulterior motive involved. Instead, he gets caught up in the excitement for a soon-to-be installed surround sound system and a night full of video games and laughter with his friends.

The day of finally arrives and, no surprise, El is 5 minutes early to the earlier setup time Dustin gave her. She comes laden with things to use for baking – both ingredients _and_ equipment – and Dustin can’t help but roll his eyes. “What, you decided to transport your entire kitchen over here?”

“None of your backtalk, Henderson,” El says as Dustin helps her carry in all her things. “If I’m going to do this, I’m going to do it _right._ ”

“Fine, far be it for me to argue with your genius,” Dustin says with a chuckle.

“Dustin, it would probably be best if you applied that to other parts of your life,” Megan says as she comes over to the kitchen. “Hi, El,” she says, giving the other woman a hug.

“Hey, Megan,” El says, a soft smile on her face, before returning the hug.

Dustin eyes them warily. “You know, sometimes I regret introducing the two of you. You gang up on me _way_ too often.”

“Should have thought that one through, Dusty,” El teases, grinning cheekily at the dumb nickname she’s given him.

Dustin just flips her off. “Well, if you need me, I’ll be digging through wiring schematics and speaker layouts while I wait for Mike to come help me. You two have fun.”

The main living space of the apartment Dustin shares with Megan is an open concept layout, meaning that Dustin can easily turn around in the living room to see Megan and El working as they sort through the things El brought over and he can hear _every damn word_ unless they start whispering to each other.

For the moment, while Dustin is waiting for Mike, it’s nice to just listen to the conversation Megan and El are having, a strange combination of catching up on what’s happened over the past couple of days in their lives interspersed with tactics and discussion of what to make and how to make it.

And then, 15 minutes _after_ he agreed to, Mike knocks on the front door. At this point, Dustin’s getting frustrated untangling the wiring he’s been saving for just this project and he’s not even thinking about El and Megan standing in the kitchen. Mostly, he’s just annoyed that Mike is running late _once again._

“Could show up on time for once,” Dustin mutters as he heads for the front door. “Not like it wouldn’t be _nice_ or anything.” He all but throws open the front door and gives Mike a dry, withering look. “Dude, what the fuck. _Again?_ ”

“Hey, I’m only 15 minutes late this time!” Mike says, throwing Dustin his most charming smile.

“And don’t even try it with the puppy dog eyes, Wheeler,” Dustin says as he stands back to let Mike in. “You’re kind of the linchpin in this whole operation here.”

Mike’s smile turns into a shit-eating grin. “Which means I could effectively get away with murder and you wouldn’t-”

Closing the door behind them, Dustin frowns at the sudden end to Mike’s words and he looks over at Mike with concerned confusion. _What the fuck?_

It doesn’t take Dustin long to realize what’s causing Mike’s brain to short circuit and he follows the path of Mike’s gaze while they stand near the front door.

In the kitchen, standing behind the large, butcher block island in the middle of the tiled space, Megan and El are sorting through the ingredients El brought over – all sorts of sugars and baking chocolates and flavored extracts. They haven’t yet donned the aprons that are hanging on the hooks by the fridge, so it’s easy to see what they’re each wearing. And Dustin _knows_ Mike isn’t looking at Megan, not with that look of star-struck shock on his face.

Dustin can’t blame Mike, he really can’t. El’s _beautiful_ , and today she’s managed to somehow look sweetly and approachably gorgeous, like the world’s most beautiful girl-next-door. Her hair’s pulled back in a soft braid that’s currently draped over her shoulder, the dark honey-brown strands contrasting nicely with the soft, cream sweater she’s wearing. Her face is all lightly flushed skin and sparkling eyes, laughter written across every inch of her expression. And her smile, free and easy as she talks to Megan, is enough to light up the room.

Honestly, Dustin would be surprised if Mike _weren’t_ immediately smitten and, from the look on Mike’s face, Dustin knows that his friend is totally and completely spell-bound.

It takes everything Dustin has to keep from smiling like an idiot in victory and he somehow manages to keep a straight face. “I wouldn’t what?” Dustin asks, trying to get Mike’s attention back to the matter at hand and _not_ the very beautiful woman in his kitchen.

Mike looks back at Dustin, startled back into the moment, but Dustin sees how Mike can’t keep from looking over at El. “I – uh – what?”

Dustin rolls his eyes. “Never mind,” he says. “C’mon. We have a sound system to set up and we’re burning daylight, here.”

“Oh, right, _right,_ ” Mike says and he has to give himself a literal shake to stay focused. Dustin almost fucking loses it right then and there as they move towards the piles of equipment Dustin’s assembled in the middle of the living room. “Um, quick question, though,” Mike says, voice hushed like he has an embarrassing secret to divulge.

“Yeah, what’s up?” Dustin says. He glances over his shoulder at Mike, who’s clearly trying his hardest _not_ to look behind him at the kitchen as a light blush crawls up his cheeks. If Dustin weren’t so invested in this, he wouldn’t find it anywhere _near_ as adorable as he does.

“Who’s, um, in the kitchen? With Megan?”

At that, Dustin lets his grin break free, excitement over finally introducing El to the rest of the part rearing its head. “Oh, you mean El? Yeah, she’s helping Megan with food stuff.”

“Wait, _that’s_ El?” Mike asks, voice lowered to a near-hiss.

Dustin can’t help the flat, sardonic look he gives Mike. “No, Mike, it’s some random woman I pulled off the street and invited to a gathering of my friends.” He sighs and rolls his eyes. “Of _course_ it’s El. Here, I’ll introduce you.”

“No, wait, you don’t have t-”

“El, say hi to Mike!” Dustin calls out, not moving an inch, turning enough so he can look over at El and still keep an eye on Mike.

The sudden call out startles both El and Megan and both of them look over suddenly. El smiles a split-second later once she’s recovered and she waves. “Hi, Mike!” she calls out. And, if Dustin’s not mistaken, the flush on her cheeks has just deepened, which somehow only makes her prettier.

For a second, Dustin thinks Mike’s just going to stand there, shell-shocked and frozen, but he manages to recover a second later and clears his throat. “Hi, El. Nice to meet you,” he says, giving a lame wave of his own in return.

El’s smile only widens, showing off the sweet dimples in the apples of her cheeks. “Don’t be surprised if I use you and Dustin as taste testers over the next few hours.”

“Oh, yeah, sure, whatever you want,” Mike says and Dustin fights off a groan at how desperately eager Mike sounds.

But, El giggles, so it’s clear she doesn’t mind the enthusiasm, and Dustin can practically _see_ Mike falling head over heels from one second to the next. “That’s a dangerous offer to make to a woman you’ve only just met.”

With the quip, Mike seems to find his footing and he smiles back, like he’s over-overwhelmed himself and has come full circle into being almost _cool_. He shrugs, smiling, as he runs a hand through his hair. “Yeah, well, as long as you’re not trying to poison me, I figured I’ll be fine. You seem like you know what you’re doing over there.”

El arches an eyebrow, but she’s smiling coyly. “Hmm, such faith you have in me. I’ll have to make sure I don’t abuse it.”

_Wow, 30 seconds in and they’re already flirting. **God** , I knew this was a good idea._ Yeah, Dustin feels like the smartest person on the face of the planet.

But there’s still the matter of the sound system that needs to be set up, so Dustin needs Mike to focus. “Hey, surround sound system now, flirt with the pretty girl later,” Dustin says under his breath, elbowing Mike in the side.

A fierce blush creeps up over Mike’s cheeks and Dustin can see that he’s trying not to glare, but the embarrassed frustration still comes off Mike in waves and Dustin almost laughs. “Yeah, yeah, sorry. Just….” Mike trails off and looks over his shoulder at El once more. He speaks again a second later, his voice low and quiet so only Dustin can hear. “You said she was pretty, but you never said she was fucking _gorgeous._ ”

“Well, now you know,” Dustin says, grinning. “Now, the sooner we get this surround sound system wired, the sooner you can work up the nerve to talk to her again, you sly dog, you. Who knows, maybe you’ll even get her number.”

Mike glares at him, but the way he’s blushing totally undercuts it. “God dammit, Dustin….”

Dustin quirks an eyebrow. “Hey, just calling it like I see it.” He breathes out a laugh and shakes his head, amused at his own genius. “C’mon, let’s get this thing done.”

The next few hours passes with minimal drama – there’s a minor flare up when it comes to figuring out where and how to mount the rear speakers that El diffuses by bringing them over freshly baked cookies with the words “it’s impossible to be mad when you have cookies. Now calm down and get your shit together,” but that’s about it.

The entire time, as Mike’s helping Dustin with the sound system, he can’t seem to stop looking over at El, all heart-eyes and lovesick smiles. Which, to be fair, is completely appropriate considering how El can’t stop doing the same until the both of them are near constantly throwing each other shy, longing glances across the apartment, complete with small smiles and blushing cheeks. It’s so goddamn sweet, Dustin’s pretty sure he’s going to get diabetes from just being in the same room as the both of them.

The night ends up being fantastic. Mike and Dustin end up nailing the sound system set up and the food that Megan and El make is _amazing._ Dustin gets to introduce El to the rest of the Party and she fits in like she’s been there all along, laughing and giving shit as well as taking it and it’s just the best thing _ever._ Will ends up winning the Smash Bros Tournament, beating out Max for the title.

But, Dustin can’t really complain. Not when, after getting eliminated early on, Mike and El drift off to the kitchen to sit at the bar stools placed around the kitchen island, where they proceed to get lost in their own conversation despite the chaos coming from the living room.

Dustin can’t help but look over every once in a while, feeling like a proud dad or something whenever he sees them leaning towards each other like they’re having an intimate conversation or when El giggles, tucking stray strands of hair behind her ear with a flirty flick of her wrist, and Mike smiles like there’s nothing in the world he can’t do so long as he has the attention of this sweet, beautiful woman.

At the end of the night when everyone’s getting ready to head home, Dustin sees El gently grab Mike by the elbow, a soft smile on her face. “Hey, there’s this great late-night coffee shop around the corner from here. Did you maybe want to head over, grab something to drink or something?” Dustin overhears El say, as much as he’s trying _not_ to listen.

“What, you mean now?” Mike asks and Dustin tries not to roll his eyes as he’s giving Max a hug goodbye. _Jesus Christ, man, don’t sound so surprised she’s asking you out._

At that, El giggles. “Yes, _now._ Unless you want a rain check, or something. After all, you still have to tell me about how I’m missing out on the wonders of ‘Lost’.”

“No, now’s good,” Mike rushes to say and, though Dustin can’t see him, he just _knows_ Mike is smiling. “Now’s perfect.”

Dustin can’t argue with that. And when everyone’s finally gone from the apartment, El having left all her things behind as caught up as she is with Mike, and Dustin and Megan are left cleaning, Dustin can’t help but smile.

“So, that seems to have worked out, huh?” Megan asks as they start tidying up the worst of the mess. “Mike and El?”

“Yeah, it does, doesn’t it?” Dustin says, marveling at the whole thing. “So, over/under on when they’ll get married?”

Megan rolls her eyes. “They just met, Dustin. Besides, _we_ have to get married first, you idiot.”

Dustin’s heart skips a beat at the thought. He can’t help it – every time he imagines marrying this beautiful woman, he gets overwhelmed. But, still Dustin has a feeling about Mike and El, that everything there will work out splendidly. Dustin could have never imagined that Lucas picking out a random girl at a bar to try out his horrible pick-up line would ever lead to this, but now that it has, Dustin knows there’s no other way he’d rather it have turned out.

_See? I knew bad pick-up lines were good for **something**._

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> So, whaddya think? Good, bad, just plain weird? Let me know and I'll catch y'all on the flip side!


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